Welcome to the Dugout.
Mind the low beam and that rotten step,
third from the top. I've gone out
on another of my unauthorized solo patrols,
so there's no telling if or when I'll return,
or what state I'll be if I finally do,
so by all means step inside
and put your boots up for a spell.
As they say, it's going to be a long war.
Help yourself to any victuals you find ~~
they've all been pilfered anyway.
Just keep your mitts off the cognac (it's boobytrapped)
and, as for the cigars,
I smoked the last one this morning before breakfast.
Rats remain a problem, admittedly, but that's
why God invented the Colt.45 Service Pistol, Model 1911.
If you blast away at the little buggers, try not to plug the picture
of me dear ol' Mum hangin' on the north wall, or the tin cup of
daisies on the bookshelf. I just picked 'em this morning in no-man's-land.
Be sure and say
Wie gehts for me
to ol' Fritz,
if you're ever
neck o' the woods.